Running with a broken heart.

Sometimes its difficult to make Lemonade, especially when all Life gave you was some salt and used kleenex.

Sometimes after Life hands you the salt, you realize no-one is going to want to buy your pathetic and irresponsible excuse for lemonade, so you just high-tail it, and run in the opposite direction as fast as possible... away from your stupid little lemonade stand; away from the salt that will undoubtedly get into your wounds, and away from the nasty used Kleenex.

Running solves everything.

Afraid? Run.

Angry? Run.

Happy? Run.

Late? Run.

Seems ironic then that lemonjuice is poured into the cuts when you turn to run and find out you cannot. Run that is.

I realize I've been speaking metaphorically up to this point, but now, I jump onto the literal train.

I cannot run.

My legs, they want.

My mind, it wants.

My body...wants.

but my heart- my heart refuses.

Its broken. Doesn't work. I didn't realize your heart was JUST as important as your legs when you run. Apparantly this is true. You can't run on a broken leg, and likewise, you can't run with a broken heart.

Interestingly enough, I've found, there are actually a lot of activities that one cannot do with an impaired beating device. The following are just a few:

. Listen to music: this actually physically hurts much of the time.

. Eat: I know it used to taste good, but it doesn't taste like anything now. And my stomach refuses to do anything with it, if my heart hasn't approved it. BUST.

. Smelling things: perfumes, flowers, food, night air... it all hurts.

. Smiling: I guess some of the muscles connect all the way down into your chest.

. Doing anything faster then slow: hearts seem to control reflexes

. Biking: actually this is just a guess- my bike was stolen so, I haven't tested it yet.

. Most movies

. Laughing.

. Hand-stands: more like hand fall-overs.

. Joy of others: stupid broken heart is a jealous thing.

. Happiness in general: just hurts. gotta avoid it if possible.

Shoot... I'm just getting started. Needless to say, the heart seems to be 7 pounds of a lot of weight and pull when it comes to what can and cannot be done in daily life. Lucky for us, doctors have been using Mice to try and fix broken hearts and according to research in 2009,

"It has long been thought that damage to the heart is irreversible, but new research is challenging that assumption."

Well that is promising. Unfortunately this research is still primitive and unavailable to the masses. I do realize that medication can be found for many of the symptoms, though there are not any over-the-counter fixes for the mess. Who cares about the symptoms? I want my heart back.

This post is not for pity or sadness. More just scientific observation. As the person who was always annoyed by the lame duck with the broken-heart, I reorganize my thoughts and hypothesis on the immensity and inconvience that this handicap effects life.

I will attempt to run again tomorrow, and the next day and the next day and maybe one day I will run free without my limp.

Its not the most exciting post- but my break has inhibited me from doing anything worth saying really. If I get a cast, I'll let everybody sign it.