Take a book to the DMV, wait, scratch that.

When going to the DMV I think it is a smart Idea to bring a book. This way time flies effortlessly and enjoyably. Moreover, if you are armed with a book, and a sturdy gaze, you can easily deflect the attention of an over flirtatious soul, who forgot his book.
For example: The older man with the white hair in his beard, short shorts, and BRIGHT red shiny shoes.
He sits near you. NOT next to you, so that you could feesibly hear the words that were coming out of his mouth, just near you though, so he THINKS he is in conversation range, but is just outside.

Its ok, don't panic. You have a book, and a sturdy gaze.
Unfortunately there are those as my mother pointed out to me many years ago, that are, "socially retarded" -- but to be more polite, perhaps we should say, "socially stunted"
Which is why they think a book is an IN to a conversation, instead of a STAY OUT. (stupid)
"You reading that?" says red sneakers... can i hear him clearly, no. So i crane my neck around to him and half yell, "What?!" (I am confused why this person is interupting my obvious activity)
As he repeats himself louder, i nod with a stupid assessment on my face and then spin around to continue "reading".
"Why don't you put that down and talk to me? Don't you want to talk to me?" he says, not loud enough, so of course i yell at him to repeat himself... again.
I tell him, "No, this is an interesting book" and turn back to my "reading"
The following conversation ensues: please understand that i had him repeat everything he said because as i pointed out earlier, near is not the same as next to in a noisy dmv. Also note that after every comment i turned back to my book and pretended to continue reading, each time getting harsher and harsher... (and those of you that know me, can appreciate that if I am MEANING to be harsh... I am) (this conversation has been abridged... the unabridged version is available in stores, but it is hefty in volume)

"What is it about?"
"What?"
"The book"
"Vampires"
"I'm a vampire. Now, don't you want to talk to me instead of read that?"
"No, its still more interesting and less creepy"
"Don't you want to know my name?"
"do I have a choice?"
"Carl"
"Carl the vampire?"
"Yes ma'am--so you gonna let me take you out or what?" (did i mention the gray hair, short shorts and red shoes?)
"no, but thanks for asking"
"We can go to a movie, some dinner, mmmmhhh"
"Nope"
"whatchoo doing this weekend?"
"Sleeping"
"after you wake up?"
"Going back to sleep"
"you gotta eat sometime don't ya?"
"no."
"I'll take ya out and we'll get a big juicy steak" (picture is lips and tongue and hands pretending to be eating a steak..
"no"
"FISH, we'll go get fish, some nice big.."
"no."
"How bout i just get your number and then i'll give you a call later"
"Oh, I already said no, but thanks for asking"
"How bout I give you my number, and then you can call me if you change your mind?"
"Yeah, No, I'm not going to use it ever, so, no. Thanks though"
"How about..."
"How about no."
I'm pretty sure he kept talking, but by that point I was tired of the word no. So I turned back to my vampire book, even though i was sitting right next to one. Carl. The vampire. I guess i always imagined vampires to be a little more sensual... you know, have a little more intoxicating game. oh well. guess i was wrong.

so the book thing... didn't work.
It was suggested to me to use my ipod... Had a similiar situation that went just about as smoothly with my eyepod on... socially stunted is socially stunted, props, aren't of any consequence to them.

I think next time i'm just going to fake deaf.

and by the way. I did dress up.
happy halloween.